Friday in Texas

Well, here I am in Texas....let me just say, very uncomforable. It's wonderful seeing my son and he makes me smile and I love him so much. But, I am unconfortable around my husband. I am not sure what to say or do because I feel (and I think is the case) anything I do just bothers and irritates him. I am doing my best to keep things on a positive note for my son because this weekend is about him. He has accomplished so much and I am so very proud of him. I am doing my best but it is not easy.

Trip to get son

Well, we will leave early tomorrow morning to pick up our son. He has no idea what is going on. He has no idea that Dad doesn't want to be a part of the family anymore. He can say it's us, the marriage, etc but in reality he will also be leaving the family. Our son has been away at school (for 8th grade) in another state. He asked to go to this school and we thought it would be good for him. It would give him self-confidence, self-discipline and better prepare him for high school. The school he is at now is 8-12. He has done so well there, I couldn't be prouder. It has also been neat to see his changes when I got to see him when he was home on breaks. You notice things more when you are away... like how much taller he got or how his voice has changed. I have missed him so much!! I would write him all the time. Not too much, like I would when he is at camp because he was in school and I didn't want him spending all his time reading letters from mom. He had to study and do homework and I didn't want to intrupt that too much. He loves the school he is in, he just doesn't like that it is so far away from home. He has been so homesick. All he wants to do is come home to his parents... and look what he is coming home to. I feel so bad for my son. I love him and will support him in anyway that I can.

Broken

Broken Hearted
Broken Dreams
The road I once traveled
Is not the road it once seemed

Too Blind to see what was happening
Too Blind to see the truth
He was the love of my life
The love from my youth

Always and Forever, he said
He was the one I adored
The one that made me feel safe
The one I felt affection for

Now my heart is shattered
It lays on the floor in pieces
It tears me up inside
To know his love for me ceases

He wants to love another
That I don't understand
What about OUR family
Our boy looks to you to teach him to be a man

You won't be there
Day in and day out
You have broken our family
That is without a doubt

Where do I go from here
All I feel is distress
Dark Clouds overhead
Darkness, darkness

My life is in a vortex
My head is spinning
It doesn't matter what I do
There will be no winning

He asked me to wait
For his feeling for her to sort
He said he might come home to me
But it would be a last resort

To wait, to wait...
What he asks of me is so unfair
My heart is completely broken
This is more then I can bare

Tears have fallen down my face
For way too many days
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep
My mind is in a haze

My heart and my head are fighting
What is the right thing to do
Do I keep him if he comes back
Or tell him we are through

Broken Dreams
Broken Hearted
I could never have imagined
That he would ever have departed

Life

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.

Getting Started...

Well, this will be my first entry into my Blog. I am not sure what this will become but I am looking at it as an outlet. There is alot of stuff going on in my life right now and I am trying to figure stuff out. I am hoping that this helps. If at any time you have any commets (good or bad) please feel free to post them. I would like some feedback.
Thanks!!